


Donut Dialogue

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-07
Updated: 2001-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Who'd have thought donuts could be so complicated.





	Donut Dialogue

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

Title: Donut Dialogue.   
Author: Eliza J. Bailey.   
Synopsis: Who'd have thought donuts could be so complicated.   
Rating: G. This is pure fluff!   
Spoilers: None.   
Disclaimer: Belongs to Aaron Sorkin, et al. No infringement intended and no money will be made.   
Feedback: Makes my day :~)  
Note: This is the third in my 'Dialogue' series, which includes 'Popcorn' and 'Chicken'.

~*~*~

"Josh."

"Yes Donna?"

"Donuts."

"Huh?"

"Donuts Josh. You know. Small yeast cakes, usually in the shape of a ring, often dusted with sugar, though sometimes filled with jelly or cream or both if your feeling especially indulgent."

"I am aware of what a donut is, Donna. What I'm not so sure about is why you are bothering me with such useless information."

"Useless?"

"Okay, maybe not useless, but certainly not as helpfully informative as by your usual standards."

"You've been spending way too much time with Sam. Oh, look never mind. Just forget it."

"Errrg. What about the donuts?"

"I said forget it. It's not important."

"Well it was obviously important enough to interrupt my seriously vital work five minutes ago, so I can't see how it's so-called importance could have diminished in so short a space in time."

"Josh, you were sitting with your feet on the desk and staring at the ceiling."

"I was working. I was planning important, far-reaching strategies to outwit the Republicans in their ever-present quest to bring us down. Just because I wasn't scribbling every thought that popped into my head onto a piece of paper, doesn't mean I'm not keeping full and accurate mental notes about said strategies."

"Yes Josh, whatever you say."

"Do not mock me Donna. I will bear no mocking today."

"Definitely too much time with Sam."

"Pardon?"

"Oh, nothing. Can we get back to the donuts please?"

"Again with the donuts. What is so important about donuts?"

"Leo asked Margaret and myself to organise refreshments for the thing tomorrow and I just want to make sure there is no repeat of last weeks incident."

"Incident? What incident? I don't remember their being an incident and especially not one involving donuts."

"God Josh, you have the attention span of a gnat. How is it that you can pull together seemingly impossible pieces of legislation at the drop of a hat, yet you fail to remember that not one week ago you nearly caused an diplomatic incident when you told off Senator Scully for taking the last jelly donut?"

"I did not tell her off. I merely pointed out that she had already eaten three and that maybe someone else would like to have one as well."

"You practically called her a grasping, selfish pig in front of the entire meeting."

"I did no such thing. I may have muttered something under my breath about everyone getting their fair share, but I did not call her...what you just said."

"Leo said the poor woman had never seen such bad manners in an adult. There is no excuse for bad manners Josh.

"There's always an excuse for bad manners when Republicans are concerned."

"Shall I tell that to Ainsley, or will you?"

"You are a cruel and devious woman Donnatella Moss."

"I do my best."

"And smug does not become you."

"Anyway, as I was saying, Leo does not want a repeat of last week's 'occurrence' and has asked me to make sure everyone present has sufficient donuts of his or her choice."

"Which means...?"

"What sort of donuts would you like?"

"Okay, before we go any further, can we just clarify something? Where are you going to get them? Because if we're talking Dunkin' Donuts I'll just have the usual. However if you're going to go to that little French place near my apartment..."

"Josh I am not going to go half way across town to buy you donuts."

"But Donna they're sooo nice. They're not like Dunkin' Donuts. They're big and fresh and soft, with lots of sugar and real jam and real cream and there's the ones filled with custard that are just like..."

"Okay, okay. You've convinced me. So what sort do you want?"

"Didn't I just say?"

"No you described. You did not, however, at anytime specify which particular variety of donut you would like to consume."

"And you say *I* spend too much time with Sam."

"What do you want Josh?"

"Ummm...lets see..."

"Haven't got all day Joshua. You know, country to run and all that."

"Don't rush me. It's very important decision."

"Oh yes, I can see that."

"Mocking again Donnatella?"

"They're just donuts Josh."

"They are not just donuts. They are the veritable royalty of donuts. They surpass all donuts that have trodden the same path in their wake. They are the Cartier of donuts if you will."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Huh?"

"Well never having consumed said donuts, how am I supposed to know?"

"You've never had any of the donuts?"

"Not a one."

"Not even after all that time you spent at my apartment when I was...you know?"

"Yes and no, I've never had any of the donuts. I mean I walked past there plenty of times, I just never got around to going in. Too many other things on my mind I guess."

"Yeah."

"So if I get you a mixed dozen that'll be okay?"

"That'll be great. Thanks."

"Okay."

"Errr, Donna?"

"Yes Josh?"

"If you like, I was thinking, maybe on Sunday I could, you know, take you out to get some donuts. In the morning maybe. Like for brunch or something. That's if you're not busy of anything..."

"Well, I...ummm..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I mean there's no reason why you would want to, and you've probably got plans, that is unless of course..."

"Joshua you're babbling and yes I'd like that very much. We're not going to have to come back to the office though are we?"

"Can't make any promises Donnatella. You know. Country to run and all that."

"Just as long as you don't forget the donuts."

"Oh I'll never forget the donuts."

Fin

~*~*~

  


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